It should probably come as no surprise to you, if you’ve read my other posts, that when the pandemic hit and we were all originally under quarantine I definitely fell hard into the category of Drinking My Feelings Every Afternoon/Evening/Night. It was fun at first, right? A few weeks at home with everyone and my husband suddenly turned into a mixologist! Eventually, the fancy drinks lost their shine and I took to drinking wine every night. And every week, I would finish more and more.
I don’t remember when, but I do remember that the hangovers were starting to impact me much more. I was supporting my body in detoxing and supporting my liver as much as I could in the daytime, but I was doing more damage each night than I could rectify the next day. And I was feeling like shit. I was super irritated all the time and having a hard time getting up in the mornings. I remember looking in the mirror and almost not even recognizing myself. My face was so puffy and I was putting pounds back on that I’d already worked so hard to get rid of. The excessive drinking was no longer serving me. Those extra glasses of wine that I ‘needed” were not actually helping me. It must have been about 3 or so months into the pandemic when I noticed all of this and literally looked at myself and said ENOUGH. I’m only drinking on the weekends now. It took me awhile. I fell off many times and would drink during the week. But I was doing better and drinking less on the nights that I did pour myself a glass of wine. Being my most badass and empowered self also meant that I didn’t beat myself up or berate myself about it though. It meant that I would think about why I wanted that glass of wine and weighing the pros and cons before pouring. Was it worth breaking the deal to myself or not? Sometimes it was, because let’s face it. Simultaneous pandemic parenting and pandemic entrepreneurship is no joke. But sometimes it wasn’t worth it and I could leave the booze alone for the night. Making the conscious choices on a daily basis (sometimes an hourly basis at first!) allowed me the space to be flexible and loving to myself. Allowed me the time to really think it through and determine if a glass of wine would fill my needs, or if maybe I needed something else. And that is really what is the important part of self love and being your best self. It’s being in control of your choices and being conscious of WHY you’re making that decision, whatever it may be.
So set your goal. Include space for yourself to not meet it every single day. Include space for you to look inward and determine what is driving you and what you really need for yourself in that moment. Do you really want that wine or those chips? Or would you feel better if you curled up with a book instead? or took a hot shower? or pulled out that facial skin care tool that your sister got you for your birthday and spent some time pampering yourself instead? I have complained for years (4 to be precise. My 2nd child was born and so was the excuse!) that I didn’t have time to read anymore and that I really missed reading. So I started picking up books again. What do you miss doing? What do you claim you don’t have time for anymore? What project or materials are sitting in a corner in your closet or in your house? What is a choice that will satisfy you, that might be a better choice than what you’ve been relying on but doesn’t actually serve you? Let me know, I’d love to hear!